I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
