Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
ttyl tear gas
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
