I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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