I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
There r osticjed everywhere
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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