dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
