I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
