Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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