Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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