before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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