If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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