I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
