Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
