Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
