Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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