I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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