And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
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