??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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