wrigley field is MILF paradise
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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