Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
