So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
