Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
