Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I understand Curling. That high.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Randomize
