Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
