Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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