Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
