if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
