Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
