He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
