The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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