Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
