Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Randomize
