READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
