I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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