I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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