Me. At least after what I've been through.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
