Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
That accounts for only three of the penises
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
