yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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