it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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