so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
