I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize