i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
