"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
