i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
