Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
