Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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