WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
