I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i will never coherently bang her
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
