I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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