i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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