plz talk dirty to me
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
They have beer where we have blood.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
