I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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