I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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