what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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