You work out of a Hotel?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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