So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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