I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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