I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize