if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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