u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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