hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
