Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
