she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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