The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
