i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
