the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Let's paint friendship bongs
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
