i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
