help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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