life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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