mondays should just be called national damage control day
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Your cock deserves a montage
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
