i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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