If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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