So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
