Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
