fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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