It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
